


Another Kind of Safe House

by irlarchivist



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Denial, Depression, Ghosts, Jonah Magnus Being Jonah Magnus, Loss, M/M, References to Depression, Safehouses, Spoilers for The Magnus Archives Season 5, The Lonely Fear Domain (The Magnus Archives), The Magnus Archives Season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlarchivist/pseuds/irlarchivist
Summary: Every trip outside of the lonely had been growing more exhausting, each step, fake breath, or meeting begrudgingly arranged had been draining him steadily. It wore on his physical form as well, noticing each day how his pace had inched towards a crawl with each passing moment. Jonah always wanted him to stay on land and Peter wanted to leave, the mind games being played with him only worsening the condition the Lukas was in. But he was never corrected on the falsehood he fed to the soul that inhabited that body - No the avatar of the lonely was sure he knew the truth.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, Peter Lukas/Jonah Magnus, Peter Lukas/Original Elias Bouchard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	Another Kind of Safe House

**Author's Note:**

> {Spoilers for Season 4 & 5 of The Magnus Archives}

Every trip outside of the lonely had been growing more exhausting, each step, fake breath, or meeting begrudgingly arranged had been draining him steadily. It wore on his physical form as well, noticing each day how his pace had inched towards a crawl with each passing moment. Jonah always wanted him to stay on land and Peter wanted to leave, the mind games being played with him only worsening the condition the Lukas was in. But he was never corrected on the falsehood he fed to the soul that inhabited that body - No the avatar of the lonely was sure he knew the truth. 

Jonah had to know - no, he _did_ know. Why else would he be looked up to with those cold, angry, grey eyes? The head of the Magnus institute knew exactly what he had done, knew the fine details of just how much Peter had been grieving- _mourning_ the loss of what Jonah called his ‘new vessel’. So when Peter was finally given the opportunity, he absolved into the forsaken right there. Within a second of setting foot on the beach the physical difficulties of being in a crowded world melted away, and the avatar moved as quickly as he could. Each step on the sand as he bolted to the lighthouse in the distance was a welcome symphony to his ears. _Home was only a few strides away._

Closing the long distance between his steps as he approached the door he could feel a smile curl on the corners of his mouth, even now - though he knew what was on the other side of the door - the feeling of his muscles being tugged in that manner was an odd sensation. Peter paid no mind, Didnt it make sense to smile now? The door knob turned easily, the door opened - wafting cold air in and sending a humid breeze across his face. The light house stood just as it was left, dimly lit by a fireplace that kept it from being as frigid as the domain just outside its door.

“Peter!” Light, airy- just like the aged man remembered, “I’ve missed you!” 

From the other side of the rounded room, he could be spotted, shoulder length hair tucked back behind his ears - It’s white color was tinted yellow from the lighting the fire had stayed strong even in his absence, his shore would not be going cold as long as he had a say in it.

“I’ve missed you too, Elias.” He breathed, ease washing over him as he stepped inside and removed the heavy coat he always wore.

The small blonde man hopped off of the couch, uneven smile spread across his face as he walked up and peering over dark rimmed glasses, “what’d you keep me waiting so long for? Awful _lonely_ here by myself.” He chuckled from behind his hand. There he was, ornery as always. With a huff and smirk Peter leaned down, curling his arms around the small man and firmly pressing a kiss onto his forehead.

He always noticed it, the cold that met his lips as he gave a gentle show of affection to Elias. It was so much colder than the avatar had felt since he had been out of the lonely. For anything to feel icy against his lips was a feat, but he pushed that feeling down as best as he could to enjoy the moment he had been craving since the second he left. He wouldn’t be dissuaded - he held Elias there, pulling him close and only letting go once even the Captain could not withstand the prickling feeling on his arms. 

“Here..” Elias spoke softly, returning to the small loveseat, perfectly situated for the small man not to get too hot, “You look tired, love.” Moving the blankets that had been strewn without care the spot was cleared. Peter wouldn’t resist - how could he? Moving to sit down, his motions disturbed the cushions much more than Elias’. The small was man practically weightless as he crawled closer, “Now,” the light voice huffed playfully, “you know thats not what I mean!”  
  
“I know, I know.” Peter chuckled in return, finally settling into the loveseat and letting Elias who was thoroughly wrapped in a plush blanket to move onto his lap. The feeling so familiar yet settling a feeling of concern into hun from the lack of pressure on his legs.   
  
“You need the rest, I know it's not _sleep_ but..” the blonde paused, pulling his glasses off to look into the eyes of the man he loved, “I also know you _need_ to be here.” Setting the glasses to the side a small hand rested upon the Captains cheek - and Peter was forced to look. No matter how many times he had seen it, it hurt the same - crumbling away at the unmoving heart in his chest. No deep, enrapturing blue looked back at him,but the expression was correct. The concerned wrinkle that rested against Elias’ brow matched with a smile that lifted just a bit more on the right was all tarnished by the soft milky white fog that hid the color he knew so well.   
  
Peter leaned into the hand that brushed it’s thumb gently against his cheek trying in vain to let his eyes drift as a smile tugged on his face once more. “You’re the only one who can make rest happen, Elias.” He mumbled, finally breaking the glance and turning to press a soft kiss into the cold palm that comforted him.   
  
“Peter..” Elias’ voice dropped into a more serious tone as his face was moved, reconnecting the broken eye contact, “it’s the only place I can.. Here, in this faux safe house you made. It’s not really me.”   
  
“Don’t..” Peter protested, pulling the hand away gently. But it came back two fold - one on each cheek that brought his face back to center and locked him into a staring match. The eyes that looked at- no, _into_ him were so cold, they didn’t match the still mournful expression that was on that soft face. The realization of _what_ he was looking at forced its way into him, it was bitter - more painful than any injury he had ever obtained in his life.

The thing in front of Peter almost looked displeased, it wasn’t apparent only in its face either. His voice echoed as he spoke again, reverberating not only off the stone walls of the lighthouse but having its own unnatural echo as it refused to let the captain look away, “Peter, we know the grieving process is hard.” It corrected, leaning in to close a bit of the gap that rested between them, the breath that carried its words was visible - like a soft plume of cigarette smoke “But we both know _I’m not real._ I know because you know. How much longer are you going to let yourself pretend that _I’m still alive?”_

Peter didn’t respond, staring back at the imitation as it continued as his own expression soured, “ _You_ made me, you know that. I’m only an extension of your knowledge of him, and what the Forsaken learned while he was trapped here.” The Captain winced, hard truths were normally something he handed out- and he supposed he was still doing so in a roundabout way, “As you’ve been told before, _he knew what was going to happen._ What exactly Jonah had planned for him. _He didn’t tell you._ ” 

“I know.” He responded shortly, finally turning his eyes from the thing that mocked the man he once knew.  
  
But the figure corrected his aversion, moving the form it held to maintain the near glare it held on him, “Peter, you can’t let this keep going. Being like _this,_ ” it paused, releasing half of the hold it kept the Captain in to place a hand on its own chest, “with what there is of.. _Him? Me?_ It hurts, Peter. If you could even consider being like _this_ alive.. It feels wrong.” Peters brow furrowed, not in anger - but in his own pain. He knew it wasn’t right, that keeping this illusion manifested would have its own repercussions. But to know and _hear_ that Elias was in pain was harrowing.   
  
“I wasn’t supposed to come back. In any form, Peter. _You need to let me die._ ” It breathed, almost melting back into what was more recognizably what it was _supposed_ to be.   
  
“I’m.. Sorry, Elias.” The words tore through Peters throat, he meant them - but he wasn’t ready to let the illusion fade just yet, “Just.. for now - Please, stay with me?”

It finally let go, fully reassuming the facade it wore for the Avatar. “For now. Close your eyes, take a breath.” Its voice finally settled back into the lilt that was familiar, and its face went with it- curling into the familiar smile. “Dream, Peter. I know you’ll be thinking of me. I know he would think the same.. if he can think.” A small hand came to rest on his shoulder, providing the small comfort of the physical contact he wanted. The _only_ contact he had ever wanted. 

“Thank you, Elias.” Peter whispered, accepting that at the very least he had this, it may be fake- but he would take what he could get.

“Shh, rest Peter.” it whispered sweetly, tugging one of the blankets over onto him. The imitation hummed, replicating one of Peter's favorite things Elias did. Were it not for just being told that this was all a fabrication he would have sworn that things were alright, that nothing was the way reality had shaped it. 

Just as Elias would have, it began to quietly sing the lyrics. Tone just as mournful as expected as the Captain was gently coaxed into finally releasing the tension from his body, he was kept partially aware by the words of the song- their accuracy shooting pins into his already still heart. 

“ _Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you,_

_But, in your dreams wherever they be,_

_Dream a little dream of me._ ”

As best as he could he let himself slip into the near meditative state that allowed him to rest, his focus slipped away and he could tune out the soft melody that only served as a firm reminder of how he had failed to keep the one person he ever cared about safe. It was replaced by the soft hum of waves crashing upon the shore, quiet and peaceful in contrast to the emotions he had been subjected to mere moments ago. 

Time moves so differently in the Lonely, the time the Captain spent on the edge of the waters felt like hours, maybe even days as he let himself stare out at the entrancing waves. But time pushed forward, and Peter finally came to, the soft crackling of the fireplace gone as it has been reduced to red hot embers.

He was alone, the absence of shuffling footsteps or light breathing not there to comfort him. Cursing silently the avatar stood, hating that against his usual nature he desperately needed company and he knew the lonely would not let him conjure the form he wanted in the moment. Leaving him with the only options of returning to land or setting out on the waters - he hoped Tadeus didn’t mind an impromptu trip.

**Author's Note:**

> This goes out to all my fellow OG Elias kinnies.  
> I hope this breaks your heart as much as it broke mine.


End file.
